I have always wondered what the difference between success and failure is. What is that “one thing” that makes it possible for one person to succeed and the other to fail?
Over the course of my life as a performer I was given the leading roles in operas. It is a rather presumptive thing to do really. You are on stage with a bunch of other singers and you are given the task of the lead role.
Other than voice type and gender, the only thing separating you as a soloist and everyone else is the fact that for some reason someone picked you to fill that role.
In my experience singing opera I have long since divorced myself of the idea that leading soloists are “better” than choristers or other singers with smaller roles because I know that all of those people are complete artists as well. They studied music, they did auditions and they have talents and skills that a soloist may or may not have.
So, I was always humbled by the task of being a soloist and to stand in front of all of the other musicians in the orchestra and the singers on stage to be able to carry the torch of “leading” in a production. The odd thing about the whole dynamic is that the public and those involved in the production see you as a leader and as a successful person, just because you are “it” in that piece.
I know a woman who is a fine musician and was required to conduct orchestras at her job even though she didn’t study it or prepare for the task. I remember going to a conducting class where she asked the Maestro “Why should anyone follow me?” She didn’t feel qualified nor justified in being a conductor and was insecure about getting up in front of a bunch of musicians who had seen many conductors already and “pose” as a conductor. She said she felt like an imposter.
The answer the Maestro gave startled me. He said, “Because you are the one standing in front with the baton in their hand.”
I had expected him to say, “Because you study the piece so well you know it better than anyone else.” Or “Because you are a fine musician in your own right and deserve the respect of the orchestra.” No, he didn’t give any practical reason for why you should be followed other than, because you are there and it is your job at that point in time.
Needless to say, the other reasons are valid reasons, but there are a lot of conductors out there who conduct who aren’t very good conductors but check all of the boxes proving that they should be. That doesn’t make a conductor good or bad or anything.
A leader is someone who stands up in front of a group of people and does the job at hand confident that they should be there simply because they are there. You have to assume the position and once you do others will assume that you should be there too.
So, how does this apply to success and failure?
I think success is just like conducting. It is an assumption that you are successful and to get up in front of people and deliver your goods with conviction and confidence.
You may feel uncomfortable at first being in front of people, that is normal. But, just like me getting up in front of a stage full of people and leading a show forward you should know that you are the one doing that right at that moment and that simply by the fact that you are doing it makes you viable and a success.
Of course you have to be prepared. Of course you have to know your stuff. Just like it would be a complete nightmare for me to come to a rehearsal not knowing my music when everyone else does it is important that you ready yourself for the task. But, at the end of the day success is about not apologizing for your presence at the head of the class.
As long as you are working in good faith and with preparation and diligence, your appearance as a success and as a leader is guaranteed when you stand up and express yourself with confidence and not question if you are “allowed to” or “ought to” be in that position.
Some of the best leaders and most effective artists I know are very humble and hard working people. They don’t question their authority when they present themselves and thus no one else does either.
Get up in front of people and stand for what you believe in and you will be successful. The more you do it, the better you will get at it and the more people will just assume that you are a successful leader and an authority on the topic or thing you are doing.
Most people will not get up in front of people and take a stand. Most people prefer to sit back, watch and then comment either positive or negative on what they just heard or experienced. But, they are most likely not successful people.
Those who get up and speak in front of people know that it isn’t an easy thing to do. They know the pitfalls and the dangers that lurk when standing on the stump. Therefore, those successful people who do it often are the least likely to express judgement on those doing it as well. It is the armchair quarterbacks who criticize the most because they have usually never been on the stump, or “chopping block” if you will.
So when I look at success and failures I see two types of people, those who lead because they will and not question their own power and those who practice doubt and uncertainty, misplacing the reason for their reluctance as shyness or not feeling qualified.
We can only be who we are. Everyone cooks with water. Nobody was born super human. So don’t expect yourself to be super human but a human who is doing some good for the world.
If you want to get ahead you have to stop getting by. Lead and you will be ahead and it will show up in other areas of your life as well. You were put here for a reason and if you don’t know the reason start somewhere and go find it.