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How you talk to yourself comes from how you talk to others

Blogging is a way of talking to yourself by publishing your ideas for others. While people always say that you have to walk the walk before you can talk the talk, it is apparent that how you walk comes from how you talk, and people are much nicer to others than they are to themselves, in most cases, and so to talk to others through blogging is a way of talking to yourself and thus creating the thought patterns you need to finally and ultimately walk the walk. 

We all know consciously what is healthy thinking, but we rarely use it on ourselves. We praise others and attack ourselves. We can pat someone else on the back for walking around the block but berate ourselves for running only 2 miles.

What others do is enough for us, but what we do is never enough for ourselves. We tend to count the losses before we count the gain, if we ever count the gain.

The truth is, you will never get ahead in life unless you build on your gains and not on your loss. It may seem like a logical point, but I see it everywhere. 

As an opera singer, I was always worried about what my mistakes were. Granted people pick you apart for your mistakes. What happens is that you see what you lack rather than really glowing in all that you already are. I wonder sometimes what my career would have been like had I actually allowed myself to be proud of myself and to walk down the street not as an imperfect artist but as an accomplished artist. 

I don’t really know where it comes from. I guess it comes from being from a family where ”big-ikes”, ”show offs”, ”hot shots” and such perceived people were gravely frowned upon. Being ”humble” was the number one character trait that counted in my family. Any sign of overt joy due a win or an accomplishment was regarded as being too haughty. 

Being a good winner and a good loser was very important, more important than winning or losing itself. To me, being a good winner meant playing down your success and being a good loser meant you had to accept defeat with grace. The problem is, I hate losing worse than death and I love celebrating wins. But, those two emotions were never allowed. 

So what happens? You begin to downplay the importance of winning and then it doesn’t have any value whatsoever, because when you care about something you want to win and not being able to celebrate what your wins are, you give up on caring about it. It becomes ”OK” to lose.

The Facts of Life

Math is a language of substituting figures for words. This means you could place everything in life into a math equation. In math numbers are definite values. Numbers aren’t like words that have shades of meaning. Numbers have only one meaning, value. 

So the equation for life placed into numbers would be an interesting practice. Obviously, wins and losses are some of the clearest results you can get. Lets say that you take the number of notes in an opera that you sing correctly verses the number of notes that aren’t accurate, you may come up with +296 and a -10 for a balance of +286 notes. That is pretty darned good. But, I would, for instance, see those -10s and get all torn up about them. I didn’t see the equation as a win but as a loss, and that goes against the facts, doesn’t it? 

Anything financial is extremely easy to understand through numbers, you are either winning or losing that game. There is no cheating here. Losing in the financial game is one of the worst games to lose. Most of the people I know are losing the financial game. So many are paying the bank interest in order to buy what they want or need. This is lost money every month and why? It is OK today to lose money. 

This is the primary disease facing the western world. People have forgotten that losing money is not a bad thing, it is a tragic thing, and while you could say it helps the economy in some way, what it really does is weaken the populace. 

Blogging self talk and planning your life mathematically are two of the most important things you can do to improve yourself and help others until you get into the habit of walking the walk. 

Get control of your life by reminding yourself what your standards are, by celebrating wins and forgetting your losses. The phrase ”Winning isn’t everything, it is the only thing.” is true. Disregard losses, build on all that you have and save yourself into a fortune.

Live like a winner!