I’m a terrible blogger. I don’t really get leads from my blog. I don’t sell anything on my blog. I don’t really care if anyone reads it.
Why?
Because mostly, my blog is there as an open diary for myself. I started a blog in the first place simply as a place to share with anyone who may be interested may know my thoughts.
I like writing and sometimes I write with a purpose but mostly I write to get rid of random thoughts.
This morning is a grey, rainy, and chilly November day outside. I love it. The only thing that could make this day better is if I was in a cabin out in the middle of nowhere in the woods with a fire and good things to eat and drink. Throw in a good internet connection and it is all perfect.
Which brings me to thinking about perfect living situations and the perfect day.
I think after all of the dust has settled I would like to live in a cabin close to water and the woods. This cabin would have a workshop separate from it where I would have my music studio, my library, and my computer stuff. There I would do a lot of work, teach lessons, and read.
In my house, I’d like to have a sauna and a jacuzzi to jump into after I did my daily hike or work out in the little gym in the garage. The house would also have a nice, yet small gas fireplace and a well-equipped kitchen fully stocked with healthy foods to make it simple to eat well and healthy.
Of course, the house and the shed would both be off the grid, except for the internet. I would store water after being filtered in a tank to give me a consistent and dependable water supply for the year. The electricity would be a solar battery powered system. The heat and cool would be provided by using the natural warmth/cool of the earth below.
But, I cannot just live in the country. I need the city too. There I would like to have a nice apartment where I could just go out and be on the streets of the town I live in. The town I live in must have an active life to it where people are out and about, and not some dead city with everyone stuck in their suburban mansions.
In the city, I could also teach music and do other business activities.
Although the distance from my apartment and cabin could be far, I would rather it be as close as possible. All of this needs to be close to an airport, preferably with direct access to European and other international destinations.
I would prefer if it wasn’t in the southeast because I don’t like the heat and humidity. I could go to New England, as long as it wasn’t ridiculously cold or expensive however the winter is a great time to do a lot of writing.
Living near an airport hub is great because you would have direct flights to a lot of destinations in and outside of the country.
The other option is to simply live in Europe since that is where I would rather be anyway.
But, what will I do?
People talk a lot about happiness. I don’t think it exists in reality. Like anything else in life you have to “do” it, you cannot “be” anything.
I know, I know! In spiritual circles, there is the idea that once “saved” always saved. But it isn’t true, is it? You can’t just “be” in life. You have to “do” “being.”
I have studied the theologies, philosophies, and ideologies of Christianity, Buddhism, and read folks like Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins, in terms of how to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Even with a life philosophy like Eckhart Tolle, where you just sit on a park bench all day, you are still “doing” sitting on a park bench all day and being mindful of the world around you. That is actually active participation regardless of how passive it may seem.
The most frustrating thing to come to grips with in life is that there is no end to maintaining your life no matter what that is. In fact, you are maintaining your life even if you aren’t thinking about it because that is a maintenance all it’s own.
Even an alcoholic is good at maintaining. It is a forced maintence, but still it takes consistency and dedication to achieve it.
So, really, whatever it is you want to be in life, you can’t just think that you can achieve it once and it will be there forever. You must know that it is something that you cannot stop doing.
Honestly, I wonder if it is even possible to maintain a happy life when you are not doing something you love doing.
We are often told that it is not our duty to be happy, but to do whatever it takes to contribute to society in a meaningful way. However, I am beginning to think that this “aufgezwungene” Pflicht, forced duty, that brings the most unhappiness and misery into a world that is full of miserable people doing dutiful things.
A cat worries about one thing, himself. Every animal, while caring about other animals or people will first take care of themselves.
We have enough unhappy people in the world.
Happiness is not related to a state of being, but rather is a state of doing. Lets face it, if you go to work wearing the same old clothes, you will not feel any lift from that costume. However, when you dress up, regardless of what that means to you, you automatically act differently. Immediately, the attitude you have about yourself changes.
So, I guess in the end I am considering these things and how it applies to my life because right now I feel very frustrated about my situation.
I am so worried about what I think others may think of me. To be honest, I don’t even know who I am because it seems like I am living the life of what I think everyone approves of for me. That is a sad situation considering I am 58 years old.
I think we are all a combination of the people we were when we were born plus or minus the brainwashing that took place during the developmental years of our lives. It is good to have a certain amount of social moral standards in society and I do believe it must be taught to everyone. But, I think it goes way to far in many cases, and many get ruined by the pressures placed on them by religions and cultural beliefs.
Freedom to live a happy life is the right of every human being. But, that freedom should not limit the freedom of others and you can’t expect others to be or do what you want them to do, or for them to agree with how you live your life. You can’t get mad at others for trying to live a happy life for themselves.
So, upon reflection here, I ask myself the question I have never been able to answer. What do I want? I think the answer is “Do” that which brings you happiness.” I believe that is the basic purpose in life.